Speaking in Absolutes

Do you remember as kid, your mom would tell you, "Stop jumping on the bed.  You're going to break your leg".  Or, "Get down from that wall.  You're going to fall off and crack your head open."  How often did you actually break your leg, or crack your head open?  True; there was a kid here or there that did, but most of us were able to come out without a scrape.

What does that do to the parent/child relationship, when Mom (or Dad) says "If you do (this), then (that) will happen," and it doesn't?  Mom loses credibility because she's wrong.  Kid chooses not to listen to Mom anymore because she's always wrong.

Enter a better way:  Do your best to avoid speaking in absolutes, which is making wide, sweeping statements that appear to apply to everyone in every situation.  Like when Mom says "Don't cross your eyes or they'll get stuck that way."  No they won't.  But when you declare a consequence that never happens, you lose credibility with your children and they begin not to trust you.

Instead, try, "If you jump on the bed, you may fall down and hurt yourself."  Or, "The wall is very high.  I'm worried that if you fall, you can really get hurt."  Switch words like "you will" and "you are going to" for words like "you may" or "you could".

You are still sharing potential consequences, but aren't doing it in a way that will break trust should the negative consequence not happen.  And you are still doing your job as a parent to keep your kids safe by warning of negative consequences.