Your Children are a Reflection of You

I don't make my kids match their clothes.  Not usually, at least.  If we're going someplace that requires a certain level of dress (church or the theater or the like), I'll put be more insistent, but for school or running errands, I don't stress.  I'll tell them the clothes don't match and give them options that DO match, but I won't insist on them changing.

I've had people tell me that I SHOULD make them match, because, "Your kids are a reflection of you."  And they're not wrong.  Your kids ARE a reflection of you.  But I'd like to take a minute to think about what they're reflecting.


When we see kids whose clothes don't match, we may be inclined to think, "That Mom doesn't have it together enough to make her kids match their clothes," But I like an alternative train of thought:"That Mom is letting her kids be independent."  Learning to put together outfits is a life skill that they need to learn.  And like learning to walk, sometimes they're going to stumble and fall.

"Mommy!  I find good clothes today!  They're both green!  They match!"

But clothing is only one way that our children may be reflecting us.  When your son holds the door open for the people behind him, he's reflecting the good manners you taught him.  When your daughter tries to engage a fussy toddler in the cart behind us at the grocery store so their frazzled mother can unload the groceries onto the belt, she's reflecting the caring that we taught her.  When your toddler runs and holds your hands when you ask him to, they're reflecting the obedience that you taught him.  Those things say a lot more about us as parents and as people than how our kids are dressed.