Quiet time

In "Parenting that Works", Dr.'s Christopherson and Mortweet give a simple hint to encourage children to talk to their parents.  I decided to try this hint and thought I'd report my progress to you.

They encourage "Quiet Time".  This isn't where Mom makes the kids be quiet because they're on her last nerve.  This is where the kid gets carte blanche to talk about anything on their minds.  All you have to do is be quiet.  Most people, even young kids, want to fill the silence.  Mom and/or Dad just listen.  They don't offer advice, try and probe for more information, or judge in any way.  Just let them talk.  

I decided to try this with my Bub.  I couldn't get him to say a word about school.  We'd walk 10 minutes home, and I'd try all the questions I could think of to get him to talk:  What was your favorite part of the day?  What did you learn today?  Who did you play with at recess?  What was your favorite center?  And I got nothing from him.  "I dunno."  "Nothing."  "No one."  "I dunno."  

So I decided to be quiet.  No questions, no probing.  Just quiet.  The first couple of days he didn't really say much.  But as he got used to our new status quo, he started talking.  And talking.  Now, when I pick him up from school, I get an immediate 10 minute rundown of everything that happened that day.  "Jordan and I played Minecraft at recess and Alyza drew hearts on my paper and my teacher said my paragraph was really funny and I should write another sentence and...and...and...."

I never knew this kid could talk so much.  All it took for me to be quiet.  He knows those 10 minutes are his time to talk.  Now, that's not to say that we never address the things he talks about.  Trust me; when he brought home the paper with hearts drawn it by Alyza, we had a little talk about Alyza.  Just not during quiet time.  

I highly recommend implementing this technique with your children.